Love Restored, Bacon on the Side

3 07 2010

Headed for the ‘shed last Sunday morning with Natty Light, early to beat the dorks (wasn’t so successful on that front – more in a minute). We were out for a girls-only ride – my first ride of the season. Nat warned me that she “wasn’t as good as” me on the way over to the trail. I ashamedly reminded her that my only biking lately had been on my cruiser…

As soon as we took off for the trail head, though, giddy-ness washed over me. So comfortable to be back on my bike. Ahhh!

I lead the ride – which I never do. I’m always most comfortable bringing up the rear of the line. Nat is new to the area and doesn’t know her way through the trails yet, so I didn’t have a choice. It was actually more fun and challenging to be out front.

The route we took has a great mixture of wooded single track, small rock gardens, climbs and open field. Nat was having a great time, and I showed her a few things not to do, such as: getting slapped by stickery raspberry bushes and having fights with saplings.

This blog isn’t called Bacon Betty for nothing!

I didn’t totally kick ass on the climbs for this first ride of the year, but did pretty well on the first two biggies. The last short one restored my faith in myself and I took it without getting winded.

Returning to the parking area, we spotted our two husbands’ trucks, but no husbands. They were off on their own, probably more tortuous, ride. We had made it there early to 1.) beat the dorks and 2.) beat the heat. We accomplished #2.

As soon as we rode up to my truck, some guy in the lot hopped off of his bike and threw his hands in the air at us, yelling, “HEY! WHAT’S UUUUP? YEAH!!” Dude, take it down a notch. We dropped my tailgate to rest for a bit to see if the boys would make it back before we drove home.

The guy decided that directly behind my vehicle was a great place to leave his bike while he took his kidnapper conversion van to “pick up the others”. Nat and I sat for a bit finishing the conversation we’d begun on the trail and tried to cool off, the sweat dripping from us.

A few minutes later… Van comes careening into the lot headed straight for our spot on my tailgate, slamming to a stop about 5 feet away from our nearly-amputated legs. “I’M PARKIN’ HERE IN THE SHADE! HA HA!! YOU’VE HEARD THAT SAYING! MADE IN THE SHADE!! THAT’S ME!” HolyChristwillyoushutthefuckup! The “others” consisted of two guys equally as frightening as the first, just not as LOUD.

Their antics continued while Nat and I decided not to wait for our boys. “WHY IS YOUR BIKE SO DIRTY?!” “IT IS SOOO HOT OUT HERE!!” “HOW ARE YOU LADIES DOING?!” “WOOOO!!” Where did you assholes come from?!

We began loading the bikes to make our escape. One problem remained: we were blocked in by the van. Praying that they were about to leave immediately, we heard: “YOU LADIES DON’T LOOK VERY WET!!” Nice double entendre, dude. With that, they were gone.

Maybe we should start at 6am next time?

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